To make it easier to look for the wavs that you want to hear, I have included descriptions of the wavs that I have gathered (and still continue to gather) of the movie itself. Click on the appropriate link to play the corresponding wav. If you just want to look for pictures, click here.

(BOOOOM!!!). . . Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.

I am Henry the Red, Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands, and leader of its peoples.

Well, hello Mr. Fancy Pants. I got news for you pal, you ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and shit, and Jack left town.

It came back. Bigtime.

I, I never even saw these assholes before!

Klatu, Verata, Nicto.

Oh, you little bastards!

Necronomican Ex Mortis -- the Book of the Dead.

Now I swear, the next one of you primates even touches me . . . yeeeah!

This is my BOOMSTICK!! It's a twelve-gauge, double barrel Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the Sporting Goods Department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95, its' got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger.

Go ahead and run, run home and cry to momma! Are all men from the future loud-mouthed braggarts? Nope. Just me baby. Just me.

Alright, who wants some?

We can these deadites, we can take 'em. With science.

Whoa, wrong book.

Hold it. Nobody said anything about three books! Oooh, that stinking wiseman, he was so busy filling me full of his secret little words and his phrases and his baloney, that he never said anything about this.

O.K. then. That's it.

Keep your sardine can on!

Now, whoa whoa whoa right there spinach-chin!

You sound like a jerk!

Sure, I could've stayed in the past. Could've even been King. But in my own way, I am King. Hail to the king baby!

Are all men from the future loud mouth braggarts? Nope. Just me baby, just me.

O.K. little fella, how about some hot chocolate huh? Ahhha ha ha ha! (gurgling)

Give me some sugar baby.

You found me beautiful once. Honey, you got real ugly.

Lady, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the store. Who the hell are you? Name's Ash. Housewares.

Hey, uh, what's that you got on your face? Huh? Blah, blugh blaaah.

My name is Ash, and I am a slave.

First you want to kill me, now you want to kiss me. Blow.

Yo, she-bitch. Let's go.

You know you're shoelace is untied.

Yo, she-witch. Let's go.

Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up.

I don't like being . . . sucker punched!

Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.

Ooops.

London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling dow-ha ha ha. Haa! I burn lady ha!

I wasn't lookin' for no trouble.

I . . . live . . . again.

So you just leave it be.

Klatu Verata n(cough cough cough)

Go ahead and run. Run home and cry to momma.

Heeey Baby!

It got into my hand, and it went bad, so I lopped it off at the wrist.

Get the gum out of your ears and listen up.

Oooh, that's gotta hurt!

I'll swallow your soul. Come get some.

It's a trick. Get an axe.

Keep your damn filthy bones out of my mouth.

I got it, I got it. I know your damn words, alright?

Come to papa.

Buckle up bonehead, 'cause you're going for a ride.

Theme Music

Say hello to the 21st century! Heyaaa!

Close as I can figure it, the year's 1300 AD, and I am being dragged to my death. It wasn't always like this. I had a real life once.